Going to the gym can be a very nerve racking experience for those in the plus size community. It's a place known for being full of nothing but judgement. We just want to go and exercise, but then end up get stared at which leads to us feeling completely out of place. There's also a chance that we'll get recorded and become part of a video complication labelled, Funny Videos of Fat People at The Gym. It's frustrating because society tells us to lose weight, but then laughs at us when we try. We're given looks that do nothing but tell us, "You don't belong here"
When first signing up for my gym membership, I was excited but also hesitant. The excitement was due to the fact that I'd be making a healthy change to my lifestyle, but the hesitation began to overshadow my excitement. All that went through my mind were all of the viral videos making fun of fat people at the gym. I was scared to become another one of those videos. I even imagined some of the possible titles my video would have. Curly Headed Fat Girl Tries to Walk off all of The Twinkies She's ever Eaten was the name that I predicted for my video. After finally signing up, I had my first ever trip to the gym in early 2018. When first walking in, I felt extremely out of place. I looked around and like usual, I was the biggest person in the room. I chose a treadmill all the way in the back, hoping to to avoid getting stared at. I wasn't too lucky because I did end up catching a couple people staring at me. It led to me having an anxiety attack that caused my throat to close up. I went home and ended up crying a lot that night. I felt as if no matter what I do, I'll still be looked at as a fat joke.
It took me two weeks to go back, and I'm glad I did because I ended up learning how to cope with the stares. When I go by myself, my strategy is to just blast my music while keeping my head down. It makes me forget about the people around me and lets me focus on what I went there to do. When I go with someone else, it's even better because they also help me forget about the stares. It feels as if it's just me and that other person in the room which makes things a lot easier.
In conclusion, I just want people to know that most fat people hesitate to go the gym due to not wanting to be made fun of. It feels as if we're being put under a magnifying glass as soon as we walk into the gym. All we want to do is exercise, but we end up becoming free entertainment.